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Funny that while many of my friends’ ultimate dream were to get married and have kids, I was thinking otherwise.

When I was still single, I had a very close male friend who would go to the extent of writing notes in my school notebooks the words “no to PMS.” PMS is pre-marital sex and he was doing that to urge me change my mind on my view on marriage and relationships.

Although I was quite a liberal, my being liberated goes to some extent only and even if I was vocal about my being a pro-PMS and no-to-marriage gal, I was afraid of actually having sex. (Don’t worry, this post is not rated R.)

I guess that among the factors why I was afraid of it was my fear of getting pregnant. I’ve always thought it would be very difficult to be a parent, lot of responsibilities and… lots of everything actually. I’ve always said, “I’m not ready to be a wife, nor, a mother.” But really, is there a course where we can be emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and financially prepared to become a parent?

What I’m sure right now, after being a mother for five years for Marcus, is that my mom was right: “You’ll never really understand being a Parent until you BECOME ONE.”

To all Parents out there, Happy Valentines Day! I have surprised my Nanay and Mommmy (my mother-in-law) with sweet cakes this morning. For you guys, here is my gift — a funny but heartwarming and inspiring Resume of an Applicant for a Wanna-Be Parent from the book One Day at a Time by my favorite motivator, Francis J. Kong.

APPLY IF YOU DARE

Is it hard to be parent?
I can assure you that it’s no picnic.
This article from the web gives us a good idea of how challenging the job of parenting is. The title: Apply if you Dare!

If there’s an ad for parenting, who would have the guts to apply?

Job Description:

Long term team players needed for challenging, permanent work in and often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organization skills and be willing to work variable hours, which include evenings, weekends, and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight traveling required including camping trips to primitive sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities.

Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

Responsibilities:

Must prove on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose blowing.

Must have strong skills in negotiating conflict resolution and crisis management.

Ability to suture flesh wound is a plus.

Must think out of the box but not lose track of the box because you will most likely need it for a school project.

Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, “He got more than me!” for the rest of your life.

Also must be ale to drive a motor vehicle under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above mentioned skills in conflict resolutions.

Must be able to choose your battles and stick to your guns.

Must be able to withstand criticisms such as “You don’t know anything”

Must be willing to be hated at least temporally until someone needs P120.00 to go skating.

Must be willing to bite your tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60mph in 3 seconds flat, in case this time the screams from the backyard are not someone just calling wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have the ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assemble and production safety testing of a half a million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Also, must have a highly energetic, entrepreneurial spirit because fund raising will be your middle name.

Must have a diverse knowledge, so as to answer questions such as “What makes the wind moves?”

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

1Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities, also include floor maintenance, and janitorial work throughout the facility.

**********
Possibility For Advancement and Promotions:

Virtually none!

Your job is to remain in the same position for years without complaining, constantly retaining and updating your skills, so that hose in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Previous Experience

None required, unfortunately.

On the job training offered at a continual, exhausting basis.

Wages and Compensation
You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could do more.

Benefits

While no health and dental benefits, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered, limitless job supplies opportunities for personal growth, and free hugs are for life if you play your cards right.

These are required from parents and boy I’m telling you…they’re all true.

Now that you know, don’t think it would be a good idea to call up your folks or better yet, pay them a visit and tell them how much you appreciate them?

The Bible says “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

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