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The Dilemma of Moving On

Are you a late sleeper? I am. It has been my habit to still stay awake after a a full day of heavy work. Usually, if I am not yet grossly tired, I would still open my laptop and continue working while watching super late night TV shows. When I am too tired to bear another ray of radiation from the PC, I would simple lie down, watch TV and try to relax while hugging my baby.

Since we don’t have a cable and there’s nothing else to watch after Survivor of GMA 7 (I’m not a fan of Koreanovelas anymore so I don’t watch Shining Inheritance), I am glued to the SNN updating myself with the showbiz chismis of the day. Last night, the news was about Richard Gutierrez and his personal assistant (PA) Nomar who died because of an accident the family is now blaming Richard for. The wife said in her initial attempt to talk to Richard to know clearly what happened to her husband, Annabelle Rama just told her, move on already as Richard is already doing so. She said its easily said than done, how can she move on when she and her kids were the ones forever affected by the accident.

Kris Aquino made a comment after the interview confirming that the idea of “moving on” is really easy to say but very hard to do as she is having difficulty not crying all the time with her mom’s (former president Cory Aquino) memories. I can vouch for this thought as my heart bleeds whenever I remember my son and my tatay.

Is moving on easy? Probably, it depends on the issue of where we are moving away from. I totally agree with Nomar’s wife that that it would be easy for Richard to move on but never for for Nomar’s family who slept on the same bed with this man, and depended their life to him. How can they?

Two nights ago, my nanay’s bestfriend, Aling Zeny, passed away. She died of colon cancer which she suffered having for a few years. She was treated for a while but since the family do not have the means of supporting her medication, much more, expensive treatment procedures like chemotherapy, she, after some time, “expired.” My nanay said because she continuously bleeds, later on, she lost the minimum amount of blood she needs to survive. I wonder at this point if having her colon cleanse would have helped the process.

My nanay was too affected by this as she is older than her, the idea of death at their age is now looming. She is now constantly suffering from high blood pressure attacks and I’m really worried about her health. I hope she would be healthy again so she can spend better days and better time with us, her family. The idea of losing another member, especially as important as my mom, is just too painful to think about. Moving on would never be a possibility for me when it comes to my mother, she has been my life support since I was born and even until now that I have my own family, its still her who keeps me sane and strong.

I hope she lives a long life for me, for us. this, I pray to God.

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One Response to The Dilemma of Moving On

  1. foo says:

    hi marikenya, it’s been a while.

    like you, i understand how you feel. my only thought is… ‘kaya mo yan!’

    ur last post is almost a month ago! i was surprised when i found nothing about the ondoy storm in one of your posts.

    hope ur doing fine..

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