I Think I’m Ugly! The Pains of Being Overly Self-Consious

mhel — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 22:52:32 +0000

“I’m on a diet. I think I’m overweight. Oh, I’m so ugly! I gotta do something about this… I won’t eat anymore!” Sound familiar? How many friends do you have who are in agony because they think they’re ugly, fat, or not too good for others? I have a lot. I actually don’t know how I stand their woes and complaints when in fact, I should be the one complaining about my body weight. Por diyos por santo (for god’s sake), I am really fat but I’m happy and although at times, I feel dissapointed that those clothes won’t fit, I never believed I’m ugly and so do my good friends.

In many cases, the problem is not our body weight or our physical look but our self-concept,
the way or how we look at ourselves. Let me cite scenarios.

My Friend No.1 is a short petite girl with a slim body type. She may not be pretty but she looks okay especially because she’s got nice butts and small waist. The problem is she thinks she’s fat and she’s always on a diet. She would eat pandesal (filipino’s popular bread) and coffee in the morning, oatmeal and coffee for lunch, and sometimes, bread again and coffee for dinner or nothing at all. Just 2 weeks ago, we rush her to the hospital because of certain ilnesses, among which is hypertension.

My Friend No. 2 is a goodlooking guy in his mid-20s, a really talented artist. During lunch, he was telling me he’s on a diet again because he needs to lose weight. Holy cow! His body really slim and fit! He may not be muscular but he’s definitely nothing to worry about his shape!

My Friend No. 3 is a petite and pretty lady in her 30s. She looks young for her age and very thin. She is thin really and at times, I think she looks like Olive Oil (Popeye’s girlfriend). Voila! Each time someone would say, “you’re lucky, you’re so slim,” she would reply with a complain that she thinks she’s actually getting fat and need to lose weight.

Remember the story of Karen Carpenter? This highly successful and famous singer of “You,” “We’ve Only Just Began,” and Close To You” died of anorexia at the age of 32. Here’s her story:

Richard Carpenter recalls that Karen was “a chubby teenager”. Genetically, she wasn’t meant to be super thin. Unfortunately for this singer, the only body that she would stand to have was a thin one. The dieting began in 1967 when Karen’s doctor put her on a water diet, bringing her weight down from 140 lbs to 120. When she had made it down to 115 lbs, people told her she looked good, but she could only reply that this was just the beginning of the weight loss, and that she wanted to lose still more. By the fall of 1975, Karen was down to 80 lbs. She was taking dozens of thyroid pills a day, and throwing up the little food that she ate. Karen’s body was so weak that she was forced to lay down between shows, and the audience was gasping at her body as she walked on stage. It was this year in Las Vegas that Karen collapsed on stage while singing “Top of the World”.

Anorexia nervosa is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes an eating disorder characterized by low body weight and body image distortion with an obsessive fear of gaining weight. Individuals with anorexia often control body weight by voluntary starvation, purging, vomiting, excessive exercise, or other weight control measures, such as diet pills or diuretic drugs. Carpenter’s death brought lasting media attention to anorexia nervosa and also to bulimia. Her death encouraged other celebrities to go public about their eating disorders, among them Tracey Gold and Diana, Princess of Wales.

I remember some time in 2000, I had a good looking boyfriend and I feared so much of losing him to somebody else because he thinks I’m fat. I began to diet and worse, became bulimic. Each time I would eat, I would feel guilty and would vomit what I’ve eaten. It took me a while to overcome this habit especially since I kept it as a secret. Fortunately, I met someone better who loved me for who I am and of course, there’s the support and love of family and friends.

Much more, I believe now that feeling beautiful and important depends on how we look at and value ourselves. Whatever we radiate to others, that’s how they would look at us. If I feel pretty, even without makeup, people would beam at me and tell me “You look good today. You seem happy!” If I feel lousy and depressed, no amount of make-up can hide my feelings and therefore, I look bad in the eyes of others.

The point… Be happy and work on steadying your self-concept. It’s important that we know ourselves. That we are confident and comfortable with who we are and what we can and cannot do. Let us not waste our time and our life worrying about our imperfectness. If others think lowly of us, let them. As the cliche goes… “it’s impossible to please everyone” and may I add… “It’s impossible to please everyone especially those who doesn’t want to be pleased.”

The ultimate key to beauty — smile! It still is a wonderful world.

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I Think I’m Ugly! The Pains of Being Overly Self-Consious