Love Versus Infatuation. Know if it is really Love that Struck You.
Love withers with predictability; its very essence is surprise and
amazement. To make love a prisoner of the mundane is to take its passion and lose it forever. Leo Buscaglia
All of us dream of a happy ending. Canned fairy tale love affairs coupled with castles, knight in shining armours and chivalrous and romatic heroes. I have my share of these dreams. I stared night after night at the ceiling of my cramped bedroom starry-eyed and looking at an imaginary falling star silently praying that my prince will come and save me from being loveless…
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The Whirl of Love
This is my entry to Noemi’s Love Struck Writing Contest. To read about the mechanics of the contest, click here. An advance valentines day post. 
Growing up with insecurities was not easy. It wasn’t easy for me too. Although I had my share of really good childhood memories, I would never forget that I grew up unconfident because of my physical appearance.
I always joke about how I never experienced being slim or thin or slender… in short, I have always been the fat girl — chubby, flabby, stout, healthy… I have always pretended I was not bothered by it, that I was cute and intelligent enough and it was all that mattered. In reality though, I feared that no guy would ever notice, pursue, and marry me.
It was a pity really because I’ve realized when I was in high school that I was the “hopeless romantic type.” I read romance novels all the time, write poetry and love Shakespeare. My dilemma, I had no suitor in high school until I was in second year. I never told anyone that I felt really bad about my looks. I felt hopeless that no one thinks I was pretty, except for my bestfriend.
My bestfriend was the first guy I ever befriended seriously. Truth was, I befriended him because I had a secret crush on him. The problem was he was already attached. Anyway, we remained friends up until I was in college where our relationship dramatically changed.
From the very start, you’ll notice that I started my tale explaining about my insecurities. I did that because I wanted to justify my behavior about relationships. Because of my insecurities, I never trusted men but loved the idea of being in love, of dating, of being woed. I went out on dates with differrent guys and had numerous boyfriends all at the same time. Although my relationships were pretty “harmless,” I was often teased by my friends about my relationships and so, I was given the reputation of being a “player.”
No one knew that the reason why I went steady with different boyfriends at once was because of my fear of being left alone. I was terribly afraid of not having a boyfriend so I always made sure that if ever I separate with one, I would always have a “reserve.” I know my behavior and actions were not justifiable, I was just relating “who I was” at that time.
When I met Oly, I had four relationships, four boyfriends. Yes, that many. I was heavily involved with those four in different levels. Whew! Each of them contained a chunk of the characteristics of my idea of the perfect boyfriend. J was the youngest and the most emotional and romantic, he was also immatured and has no direction in life. M was the guy next door and was the bet of my sister and mom, he was complicated. Jo was my dream boy since he was very good looking, he made my knees weak and my heart melt and he was also irresponsible. B was my bestfriend, I was in love with him since day one. B and I realy clicked and we fell madly in love with each other. There was only one complication at that timne, he was still with his long-time girlfriend. In short, I was his mistress.
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A Stronger Marriage, A Happier Life
“We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.” - Ellen Goodman
I still couldn’t believe that I have been married for more than 5 years. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I always look at our marriage as a “budding romance.” I prefer to see it that way so we wouldn’t lose that passion in our relationship and end as “married friends.”
No matter how I tried to hold on to that belief however did not make our marriage impervious to marital and relationship issues. We remained vulnerable to fighting, silently or by using harsh words, which were both painful.
I was not a very religious person but I believed that a Marriage Family Counselor was sent to us by heaven. I met her daughter in a birthday party and although it may seem coincidental that she was looking for candidates for a Marriage Retreat, I believe that God planned that meeting and decided that my husband and I needed to attend a Marriage Family Counseling.
The Marriage Encounter Weekend we have attended with SPACC or San Pablo Apostol Catholic Community was held in Tagaytay in a scenic seminary. Everything was perfect. The time, the place, and the people (thank you so much to the organizers and everyone who made a tremendous effort to make our ME a truly memorable one). All were instrumental in aiding us to heal our hearts from the pains that we have caused each other in the past as well as help us understand and appreciate each other more.
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Women After Marriage
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ~Nicole Hollander
Don’t worry my male readers, this article is not meant to antagonize the male species. I just started this post with Hollander’s quote because it made me smile and it’s relative to what I’m about to write.
The other day, a woman friend of mine, Ella (not her real name), called me and we had a long chat about her marital woes. Apparently, there was a fight again between her and her husband Ned (also not his real name). The husband was jealous and doubtful of her and almost beat her to death during that fight.
Sadly, that was not the first time Ned resorted to violence because of his unreasonable jealousy and lack of trust. It’s ironic how he always claim that he’s very much in love with Ella but he’s always hurting her, emotionally and physically.
A lot of women are suffering the same fate as Ella. The modern age and technology hardly changed the traditional and cultural context about women and her roles after marriage. Like in other parts of the world, the dogma about Filipino women have been defined according to a patriarchal system. In this age and time, gender and female sexuality are still defined by the dominant social group of men.
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Our Childish Dream of Changing the World
In my educational psychology class, I have discussed the school of thoughts and me and my fellow classmates were fascinated with a particular philosophy that teaches that man are inherently good.
That teaching struck me as relevant to this article I’m writing about everyone’s childish dream of making a difference. Isn’t it that when we were born, our parents told us were special and meant to become somebody important?
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How Much Do We Understand People?
To Advice or Not To Advice.
From the previous entry: The Schools of Thought and the Paradox of Life
I have promised in my last entry on Psychology and its School of Thoughts that I would be providing a test on how to gauge our mastery or level of understanding of people. This quiz is taken from the book Understanding of Psyhology by Richard Kasschau, Ph.D. I actually gave this quiz to my classmates when I reported on the topic of Nature and Scope of Psychology and not surprisingly, all failed. 
See for yourself!
Take the Quiz.
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New Friends in my New Blogging World
I feel very wonderful today because I got this notice, notification, link alert or whatsoever from joanjoyce blog and when I visiter her site, I found her blog on friendship.
Honestly, I felt a lump in my throat and…. (sniffle… sniffle…) I felt awed and very happy. I never thought that just after two weeks in my new world (the blogging world), a blogger like joanjoyce already consider me as her friend.
Thank you so much sis for making me feel happy today. Honestly, I’m enjoying my blogging so much and it gives me a nice kind of high whenever I visit blogs such as yours and join forums where I talk to really cool people in this blogging industry.
Let me then thank you and all my friends who supported me in this endeavor and for all of those who visited and continue to visit my site. It is still a very young site but I am trying to improve it everyday.
For my new blogging friends…. this is for you!
A Toast to Friendship
My Friends — joanjoyce neil kengkay ambo jen palitoking glitch
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Tintin Rios: Nice article mhel! As always, I am indeed enjoying all the stuff that you are doing. Very honest and very inspiring. Keep it up! :)
Big Brother: Very helpful and enlightening person, always there to lend a hand whenever you’re in need… Keep it up !!! GOD Bless!!!
Zaldy: Very interesting and informative. Lovely as the author.
Kengkay: Ipagpatuloy ang pag blog tungkol sa kagandahan ng pinas… gusto ko ang mga ganitong blogs. nakakataba ng puso :)
Apple Lucero: It's wonderful, and knowledgeable. I love the beauty of marikina, continue blogging, great!
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Ericc: Congrats to this wonderful website! it’s a good advocacy for responsible citizenship and good city governance! all the best to marikina!
Heidelyn A. Camaligan: We are so lucky living here at Marikina, werein lots of educational training are offered.
Islander: Wow! grabe na talaga ang marikina. beyond the legend na kayo. pano pa kami makakahabol nyan? hehe. Alamat!
Reign: I used to pass by Marikina since i’m just 40 minutes drive away from Antipolo but I never thought of these great facts about your lovely place. You’re a sure proud marikeña.
Lotus Flower: Happy Marikina Day to you. Aren’t you glad to be part of this quaint but definitely bustling and progressive city? I am :-)
Meeh: Maituturing na ang marikina ay nakilala sa paggawa ng mga dekalidad na sapatos na nagdala sa ating lugar upang makilala sa ibang panig ng pilipinas at sa ibang bansa…at ipinagmamalaki ko na ako ay isang marikenya…mabuhay!
Tapsiboy: Marikina is my happy and comfort place.
Spinning Lovely Days: I’m so glad there are so many interesting places to check out in our city now. with gas getting so expensive, i’m all for limiting our explorations within marikina. :D as always, thanks for all the wonderful tips.:)
Mera: Ang ganda naman ng lahat ng nakapost dito sa site mong marikenya Ms.Mhel…more of it were very inspirational.interesting and educational…just keep it and godbless u!
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Sagada Philippines: I like your niche. More power to your blog! =)