Parents: Stop, Look and Read

March 8, 2008 · Filed Under general, self-help · 3 Comments 

Much as I hate to think about it, the world is not too safe today especially for young people. I fear that youngsters these days, especially those in their teens, are too rebellious and too experimental.

My son is only five but I have 2 nephews and 2 nieces who are in this stage. One of them was a good looking boy who has joined a fraternity and at sixteen, often gets drunk and was not very respectful of his parents. I heard that he has a friend who is now undergoing drug treatment.
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Sibling and Parental Modelling in Children
Parenting and Behavior Modification 101

February 29, 2008 · Filed Under general, relationship, self-help · 3 Comments 

How significant really is sibling and parental modeling in forming and developing a child’s behavior? Let me illustrate to you through these examples:

  • Case One: High Performers Versus Low Performers

    Betty was a single mom with three sons: Pol (the eldest), Chad (the second) and Mon (the youngest). When Betty came in this morning, she was narrating how Chad told him this: “Ma, come to think of it, It seem I’m actually the best student among the three of us (siblings) because I was the only who finished elementary and high school without repeating a level.”

    The sad thing about this story is that Chad’s brothers are all low performers academically and he was comparing himself to them and actually feeling good and proud about his “supposed accomplishments” because the brothers are worser than him. Chad was also a low performer in school, he seemed bright but was a totally lazy student. He only graduated from high school because of the persistence and help of his mother who researched and accomplished all his assignments and projects aside from asking (and sometimes, begging) his teachers to pass him.

    On the other hand, most Filipinos would remember how the son of infamous Senator Miriam Santiago, Alexander Robert (AR), committed suicide where some speculators believe it may be because of his feeling of failure to measure up to his mother’s achievements and expectations of other people of him to be like his mom.

    In the case of Betty and her sons, it seem that Chad and probably, in the long run, even Mon, would not even try hard or maximize their effort to do good academically because their model,
    Pol, was a low performer. In the case of Alexander, his mother was such a high-performer that the expectations set for him by others and probably, by himself, was too lofty.

  • Case Two: Positive Behavior Versus Negative Behavior

    Let’s take as an example the story of Ned, the husband who beat her wife when he’s mad or very drunk. Ned was reared by a father who’s also a wife beater and who somewhat molded him into believing that women are inferior than men, therefore, they have the right to do whatever they want.
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